• 10 Reasons Jimmy Duncan Can Kiss My Liberal East Tennessee Ass

    1. After Trump Won and us liberals started bitchin, he said, “I have never seen so many sore losers as there are today.”  Look, adding insult to injury is my job, you prick. I don’t follow you around and tell you how to gargle health insurance industry lobbyists’ balls.
    2. The suffix following his name is Jr. and he probably fucking hates it for the same reason W. had his illiterate older brother tell a packed audience of sheep fuckers (Republicans) to stop it and stop it right now or else. Because Jr. means small, like his ideas.
    3. Jimmy Duncan has the resting facial expression of someone eeking out a silent fart.
    4. Let’s go back to the first comment by Mr. Personality. That is in all likeligood what his father used to tell him each day when he got home from work. He called us “liberal kooks” and says WE are rude and uncivil while we actually want to have a conversation with him while he hurls verbal Molotov cocktails at his constituents from the comfort of his ivory tower 1,000 yards away.
    5. He has never held a town hall. Ever. EVER.
    6. In his recent “elect me again, y’all” video, he is seen spinning back and forth in his chair like a 6 year old with ADHD.
    7. Recently, he got all pissy about a newspaper being a newspaper when someone dared to criticize Donald Trump. They were audacious enough to include someone’s opinion on the front page. He talked about how he has been a journalist and that was unheard of, which is not unlike his presence at any Town hall held in district 2.
    8. He got in there by nepotism and keeps getting elected because of gerrymandering, name recognition, and the fact that there is an R next to his name and a cross around his neck.
    9. He has never interacted with anyone on social media because he has the communication skills of a brick.
    10. He doesn’t give a shit about anyone in East Tennessee. Never has. Never will.
    For these reasons (and many more) Duncan is unfit for the office he currently holds.
    I like to call him Jimmy Duncan Donuts because we know he is bad for us, yet he keeps getting picked because he is the only thing lying around in the house.
    Well, I’m here to tell you that he is old, he is stale, and his expiration date has long passed.



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  • Article by: Jon D. Webster

    Jon D. Webster is the author of five books. 10 Decisions I Could Have Made Better Than God: And Other Audacious Atheist Articles, Nothing Sacred: An Atheist Quote-A-Day Calendar, Blasphemy: Atheist Quotes and Essays By An Apostate, One Big Joke (And 300 Shorter Ones), and Unreal News: A Collection of Satire can be purchased through Fastpencil.com. He has also written for publications such as the Modesto Atheism Examiner, Unreal News Online, Guardian Liberty Voice, and Back Room Knox. Jon has been featured on The Pink Atheist, Road to Reason, Freethought Forum, The Freethought Radio Hour, Atheist Analysis, and Reason TV. He has a Bachelor of Science in Theatre and Communication Arts and is working on a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology.

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