• The Top 10 Stacey Keith Quotes

    I like to say that Christopher Hitchens is my favorite author because my favorite book is God Is Not Great. However, I haven’t read all of Hitch’s books. I have only read one.

    I have read all of the books of an author I am getting ready to tell you about now. Her name is Stacey Keith. She has also written under the names Veronica Mercer and Angelika Helsing. Stace has won multiple awards for her work and has recently landed a 3 book deal.

    Her works include Catwalk, Drive Your Woman Wild In Bed, Stripped Down: A Naked Memoir, and Carnal Sacrifice.

    She is an excellent writer, so it was hard for me to narrow down her best quotes, but after a lot of time, I have selected what I consider to be 10 of her best quotes that showcase the depth, range of style, and versatility of this bestselling author.

    Here now are the top 10 Stacey Keith quotes:

    1. “…regressive, aggressive, oppressive, suppressive.” William Shakespeare, go shoot yourself in the fuckin’ face.
    2. “What a corporatist, chode-gargling fuck toilet.” Lips of an angel. Mouth of a sailor.
    3. “I wanted desperately to be Peg, the showgirl in the dog pound, rather than Lady. Peg was sexy and over-the-top. Lady was a dipshit who got herself knocked up in the park.” Flippant and profane. Two great hallmarks of a great writer.
    4. “It is a truth universally acknowledged that in a roomfull of suits, the naked chick holds all the cards.” BOOM. What?
    5. “’Jenna…’ Nick muttered between kisses. Easing into the backseat, he dragged her beside him, barely breaking contact, only now his hands were on her breasts, stroking them, pinching them. She rode the knife edge of pleasure and pain.” If ever there was a great passage in a romance novel, this is it. 50 Shades of what? E.L. who? Thought so. Haters gonna hate.
    6. “Actually, Bob has a rap sheet as long as my arm. He has a drinking problem, a coke problem, and a fetish for underage fast food redheads named Wendy. I used to receive calls from LAPD all the time, 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning, saying that Bob had gotten arrested YET AGAIN for doing eightball out in the parking lot or speeding down 101 naked with the red checkered suspenders flapping from his car antenna. He and Wendy would come stumbling in around dawn and leave roaches in the ashtray. Then the bed springs would start squeaking upstairs. What a mess THAT was. Bob, with his obvious weight problem, crashed the bed and sent Wendy to the hospital with all sorts of internal injuries. I heard they found a tattoo on her backside that read ‘Burger Bitch.’ And another one that said, ‘Serving it hot since 1957.’” As the hunter said when the velociraptor outsmarted him in Jurassic Park: Clever girl.
    7. “I am hard to kill. Because cussedness.” Can’t keep a good woman down.
    8. “The jungle, usually a place of joy and wonder, felt unbearably sticky. Late-afternoon sun streamed gold through the canopy and made dappledpatterns on the ground. Gradually, the lushness thinned. The topography opened up into low swelling foothills carpeted in shades of green and brown. Above them, the sky was a hot electric blue, and between the knuckled spurs where the mountains parted, a snow-capped peak rose majestically, emptying itself into a watershed that reflected the sky like a mirror.” Paints a picture, doesn’t it?
    9. “Jenna decided New Orleans was like one of those turn-of-the-century ladies of pleasure, lazy and world-weary, but come nightfall, determined to sin all over again in a tight red dress. The city itself oozed over its seams like too-abundant flesh, ripe, unwholesome, yet alluring enough from a distance. Once you got to Bourbon Street though, the odor of urine and old beer took the edge off New Orleans’s tawdry glamour. Only the wrought-iron balconies and potted geraniums hearkened back to a more elegant age.” Did you read that? That. Just. Happened.

    And finally,

    10. “I am perplexed, confused, and yes, disappointed, but I remain undaunted. There is just this fierceness that rises up in me and refuses to be thwarted in anything.” Seriously. If that does not motivate you, you are living with an as-of-yet undiagnosed neurological disorder you will soon be named after.

     

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  • Article by: Jon D. Webster

    Jon D. Webster is the author of five books. 10 Decisions I Could Have Made Better Than God: And Other Audacious Atheist Articles, Nothing Sacred: An Atheist Quote-A-Day Calendar, Blasphemy: Atheist Quotes and Essays By An Apostate, One Big Joke (And 300 Shorter Ones), and Unreal News: A Collection of Satire can be purchased through Fastpencil.com. He has also written for publications such as the Modesto Atheism Examiner, Unreal News Online, Guardian Liberty Voice, and Back Room Knox. Jon has been featured on The Pink Atheist, Road to Reason, Freethought Forum, The Freethought Radio Hour, Atheist Analysis, and Reason TV. He has a Bachelor of Science in Theatre and Communication Arts and is working on a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology.

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