• She Never Cried When Hitchens Died (A Confederate Railroad Parody)

    She never cried when Hitchens died.

    She was really more into Ken Ham.

    She never stood up for Shelley Segal

    And she wasn’t a Thinking Atheist fan.

    Her Jesus fish had the warning signs.

    I should have just left her alone.

    She never cried when Hitchens died.

    Do you think I’ll cry when she’s gone?

    So desperate, I looked her up on Christian Mingle.

    Looking to find me a date.

    Kind of a cross between Michelle Bachmann and Tammy Faye Baker.

    She told me to wait.

    We hit it off, we got it on
    My love was growing so strong
    Then I started seeing a side of that woman
    I should have seen all along

    I can’t believe that I didn’t see

    But when I did, I was appalled

    Listening to those Ray Comfort podcasts

    Was just one of her character flaws.

    Sometimes she was irrational, unnaturally irrational.

    But this good atheist boy let it pass.

    But when she prayed at Sunday Assembly.

    I told her she could kiss my

    She never cried when Hitchens died.

    She was really more into Ken Ham.

    She never stood up for Shelley Segal

    And she wasn’t a Dawkins fan.

    Her Jesus fish had the warning signs.

    I should have just left her at home.

    She never cried when Hitchens died.

    And I ain’t gonna cry when she’s gone.

     

    Category: Uncategorized

  • Article by: Jon D. Webster

    Jon D. Webster is the author of five books. 10 Decisions I Could Have Made Better Than God: And Other Audacious Atheist Articles, Nothing Sacred: An Atheist Quote-A-Day Calendar, Blasphemy: Atheist Quotes and Essays By An Apostate, One Big Joke (And 300 Shorter Ones), and Unreal News: A Collection of Satire can be purchased through Fastpencil.com. He has also written for publications such as the Modesto Atheism Examiner, Unreal News Online, Guardian Liberty Voice, and Back Room Knox. Jon has been featured on The Pink Atheist, Road to Reason, Freethought Forum, The Freethought Radio Hour, Atheist Analysis, and Reason TV. He has a Bachelor of Science in Theatre and Communication Arts and is working on a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology.

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