David G. McAfee once wrote “You don’t want atheism shoved down your throat? OK. We will stop knocking on doors spreading our ‘Truth,’ and having tax-exempt organizations dedicated to atheism that have influential political action committees. We will also stop printing ‘In atheism we trust’ on all US currency and saying, ‘One nation, under atheism’ in the pledge of allegiance. We will also stop insisting that everyone who disagrees with us will be sentenced to eternal damnation… Wait…”
And he’s right. He’s totally right. Here now are the top 23 ways atheism has infiltrated and is destroying America:
- When I sneeze, everyone always says “Hitchens bless you.”
- I’m tired of seeing “In Darwin we trust” on our money.
- I absolutely fucking hate in schools where kids are forced to say “under science” when they recite the pledge.
- I hate it when people are supposed to tip and instead leave evolution pamphlets disguised as money.
- I loathe atheist SuperPacs influencing our elections.
- I can’t stand it every time a President is sworn in, he feels compelled to add “so help me Richard Dawkins” at the end.
- Every Saturday morning, there’s always these damn door knockers proselytizing the teachings of Planned Parenthood.
- All these atheist institutions that don’t pay taxes.
- Our country is so tied to Sweden, it gives them tons of military aid, while turning a blind eye to their genocide.
- Any time someone appears in court, they have to place a hand on a copy of Charles Darwin’s On The Origin of Species in order to be viewed as a credible witness.
- All these bracelets with “What Would Sagan Do?” on them.
- These bumper stickers that say “Sam Harris is my co-pilot.”
- According to the atheist belief system, atheists feel as if they can and will be forgiven for anything including, but not limited to rape, murder, and theft, and their slate will be wiped clean, so therefore, they will be all that much more likely to commit those crimes over again and the process repeats itself.
- This isn’t surprising, because everyone knows that atheists are equally represented in prisons as they are in society while there are roughly 23% of Christians in the free population and only a fraction of one percent of prison inmates are Christians.
- Many atheists wear a chalice on their necklace symbolizing the cup of hemlock Socrates was forced to drink when he was executed, which is creepy and barbaric.
- Atheists refer to the execution date of their prophet as Good Friday, which is just about as Orwellian as it gets.
- Atheists are desperately trying to deny people the right to love whom they choose.
- Atheists are straight up killing doctors and bombing health care facilities in the name of atheism.
- Atheists see women as less equal than men and throughout history, have been systematically trying to keep them down, deny them rights, and subjugate them.
- Every hotel room in this country is stocked with their own copy of Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion.
- Studies show that domestic and spousal abuse are heavily present in the atheist community, while religious people hardly ever strike their partners.
- Sources confirm atheists are more likely to be physically abusive toward their children than religious people.
- And finally, recently, the head of a pedophile ring disguised as an atheist cult was invited to speak to Congress.
Thing is, none of this is fucking true. If you replace each reference to atheists with Christians and each reference to Christianity with atheism, you get what we have today. And Christians still feel as if they are persecuted and we are the ones lacking a moral compass.
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