• God’s A Failure!

    Dt-logoA Christian recently said on Twitter that God’s plan was for Adam and Eve to live forever in the Garden of Eden. This view is fairly common among fundamentalists and it shows a key plot-hole in the whole system. It shows that God is a failure.

    God created this perfect plan and then Eve came along and fucked it all up. As a result, women are to be forever cursed to experience pain during childbirth and humans can no longer live forever. Fundamentalists and many other Christians view this as original sin and blame human beings for creating a “rift” between man and God. But a more accurate take away from this story is that God fucked up.

    Apparently God’s “perfect plan” wasn’t so perfect. If it was perfect, then Eve couldn’t have ruined the plan. The plan would have taken her actions into account. Therefore, according to the story, it wasn’t Eve’s fault at all; the fault lies with God’s plan. Since God is the plan maker, the buck stops with him. Eve wasn’t the problem at all; God was the problem. His plan sucked and it didn’t work. He should have had a better plan that actually worked.

    But let’s not play the blame game here. The important part is that this Original Sin caused a rift between man and God. Forget women, they are mere property anyway. They’re God’s afterthought to make man happy. He did create them out of man’s rib after all. But I digress. So Adam eating the “apple” caused a rift between man and God which could only be fixed through the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ. That makes perfect sense.

    This is God’s new perfect plan to fix the problems with his pervious perfect plan. This plan however sucks too. With this plan billions of people are destined to be tortured for all eternity because they either lack sufficient evidence or have been compelled to believe in some other deity as a result of factors not the least of which include geography and indoctrination. If God really wanted to prevent people from this destined fate, I think he could have come up with a better plan to do it – like I don’t know, just use his divine power to close this imagined rift. It wouldn’t even take a thought. “Thy will be done” and all that jazz. Problem solved.

    Instead, there is this elaborate scheme of waiting several generations, raping a virgin, waiting for the little squirt to reach the magic age of 33, having him tortured for three days before allowing him to die for three days, then bringing him back to life, whispering this ridiculous tale in the ears of anonymous bronze aged men years later, and sitting back and watching them butcher what your told them to write down. At the end of it all, this elaborate scheme doesn’t even work very well since billions of people still end up being tortured for all eternity in Hell by no fault of their own.

    It’s not my fault that this plan sucks. I can’t help it if I couldn’t possibly believe that a perfect divine being would have created such a ridiculously flawed plan. If God’s plan was any good, it would be pretty obvious to me and everyone else. There would be no atheists, no Hell, no rift, and we would all be living happily ever after forever and ever in Eden right now.

    Instead, this story only convinces me that God is either an idiot not worthy of any kind of worship or that he doesn’t exist at all and is just the creation of idiots who really didn’t think this whole thing through. In all likelihood, the definition of God has changed over the years and so the more perfect God became in the story, the more ridiculous the story became. Plot-holes like these never got the rewrite they needed and so now the whole thing just seems silly.

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    Article by: Staks Rosch

    Staks Rosch is a writer for the Skeptic Ink Network & Huffington Post, and is also a freelance writer for Publishers Weekly. Currently he serves as the head of the Philadelphia Coalition of Reason and is a stay-at-home dad.

    17 comments

    1. If God is perfect, then by definition anything he does should also be perfect. That includes making plans, creating universes, and making people. How does a perfect being incapable of sin create imperfect beings who can?

      And then there’s the whole omniscience problem, since God must have known that his creations would sin.

      Oh, and don’t forget that the solution to his first perfect plan is not a second, but a fourth perfect plan (after the Noahic and Mosaic covenants failed) in which he sacrifices himself to himself as a blood offering which somehow appeases himself so he can forgive us from the curse he put on us after the first perfect plan failed.

      1. WHAT IF!!! the perfect plan was to introduce imperfection? Maybe the creation of sin was the whole point. Mind, meet Blown!

          1. I see that perhaps there is a sarcasm meter in need of recalibration. It may even be mine. I was under the impression that I was being obviously facetious, but it appears that, instead, I Poe’d my pants.

    2. This reminded me of Jimmy Five. Probably not so famous offshores, he’s a very recognizable character among adults who grew up reading Brazilian author Maurício de Sousa’s comic books between the 1960s and the 1990s, Monica’s Gang.

      Well, Jimmy Five’s “nemesis” was Monica, a super strong girl who “owned the street.” Every and other issue, Jimmy Five had an “infallible plan” to defeat Monica and become the “owner of the street.” His plans always failed, of course, most of the time because he wasn’t able to predict his best friend Smudge would fumble and screw everything up…

    3. … He gave us free will. So that we would not be “perfect” robots, we could choose to love and serve god.
      Love cannot exist without free will.

      1. More plot holes. Why can’t love exist without free will? Why does God have to hide himself in order for us to have free will to follow him? Why couldn’t God come up with a better plan that took free will into account? Not to mention that we are just assuming that free will exists at all… but that’s a discussion for another day. There is plenty on the table right here.

    4. Hi! Am I late? Well, anyway, God permitted rebellion in Heaven. The devil got the best of him I guess. And then, HE, instead of sending the devil out of existence, he sent him to earth before HE even created humans. Now HE’s blaming him for his failed plan. That doesn’t make sense for a perfect plan. I’m with you on that one. If things continue the way they are, by 2060 religion will not exist. You will have religion all to yourself. And you know what that means. The end of it.

    5. I agree. God is a failure. His eating of Adam and making Eve from a rib and recreating Adam from excrement was fairly obscene. Hence The dust to dust as feces is a remnant and from its filtering a pugent odor, throwing dirt on it makes sense.

    6. It was part of god’s perfect plan for the devil to resist and come down to earth. It was part of god’s plan for eve to fail. Fundamental reason was that god wanted to reveal himself to humans. And the best way was for all these simingly failures to take place so that god can reveal himself. Reveal his attributes to correct to save and perfection. Example and experience are the best teachers

      1. And the people that died between failures??The mortality rate for him to reveal himself to man is too high. Why bother creating man to be subject to suffering for his own selfish interest??. If he wasn’t much of an incompetent narcissist he wouldn’t have had to attempt fixing his mistakes twice.(I.e the flood and death of jesus)… and that’s if he even exists.

    7. Christian here. One who teaches the bible no less. You have posed the ultimate dilemma. Heres one even harder. Did you know theres a passage in the bible that says, “To him who has the power to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” God had all power to show up and at least debate the serpent in eves hearing. Then had she rejected his word, ok. Theres free will. But he seemed to have sat off in silence and watched it all play out as a clearly far more intellegent and totally unanticipated influence seduced her and then God showed up to judge everybody. So what was the power to do good in that scenario and why not just start over? You can set those two aside and even forgive them. Then make a new race and start over and do a little better preparing them for the test right.
      Heres the even harder question. Do you seriously think you are the first person in history to have the critical thinking skills to formulate these challenges? Some pretty brilliant minds have become Christians and died that way in the face of persecution even. But theres another factor you are missing. What if they experiencd something so revolutionary in thier life that it made all these questions moot? Is that possible? I mean Paul the Apostle was anti-christian until he was not. Lee Strobel was anti Christian intellectual until he became a christian and not only a Christian but one of the leading voics for defending the faith. Josh McDowell was an anti Christian intellectual until he became convinced. He wrote the most authoritative body of apologetics in our modern age possible in history called “Evidence that demands a verdict”.
      These people asked lal these question yet were converted and went from being anti christian warriors to anti skeptic warriors for thier belief. That deserves some explaining too dont you think?

      1. First, Lee Strobel and Josh McDowell were never “anti-Christian intellectuals.” For starters, they were never any kind of intellectuals. But my point is that they were never actually anti-Christian either. They were apathetic atheists in that they rarely thought about God and so they didn’t believe in a God. But if please, feel free to show me anything they have ever written as “anti-Christians.”

        Second, okay there are some very smart people who also happen to be Christian. So what? The same can be said for Muslims too, does that mean that Islam is also true? There are some great skeptical questions here and you say that these guys are aware of these questions and yet are still Christians. Okay, how have they responded to these questions and do their responses adequately answer them? Oh, they don’t. Because if they did, you would have put those answers in your comment instead of appealing to their authority… which they don’t actually have, btw.

    8. It’s absolute insanity and I’m so sick of it. I also hate the stupid fucking Afrocentric Hebrew Israelite jackasses who think they are so chosen their dumb fuck God would kill them in a heartbeat and laugh at all the dead bodies just like he does with black children every single day.
      he never helpped black people during slavery, and he never help black people in Africa.
      Also what makes you fucking idiots think America is a Christian nation? Have you really gone that far into stupidity? Soon enough you fuckers are gonna lose your privileges though so get ready for it!

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