Apparently there is some Christian “counselor” who is writing a book about the dangers of sexual fantasies. In her description she wonders why the one flesh is not enough. Her view appears to be that sexual fantasies are a symptom of emotional trauma and that people shouldn’t act on them.
In my opinion, that is wrong is so many ways. For starters, the idea of “one flesh” is simply ridiculously stupid. I would go as far as to call it the “R-word” but that would probably offend some one and we can’t have that. Sex is a complicated subject. There are many reasons why people have sex. Sex can be an emotional bond for some people, but it isn’t always. Sometimes people just have sex because it’s fun. So while some people use sex to gain a level of intimacy with each other that is not always the case.
While some sexual fantasies may have originated do to some trauma that is highly debatable. No one really knows why we have the sexual fantasies that we have. In all likelihood, they are a product of both our nature and our nurture and so a trauma may play a role, but it probably isn’t the whole story.
The Christian view apparently expressed by this “counselor” plays into the narrative that sexuality is a sin and sexual fantasies are an abomination. If you have a sexual fantasy, not only should you not act on it, you should repent immediately. Sexual desires are just a sign that you are an evil sinner who needs Jesus.
This is another reason why atheism can be so freeing. We don’t have to be controlled by these clowns any more. We don’t have to be afraid of our sexuality or our sexual desires and fantasies. We are free to explore our sexual fantasies with consenting adults. We don’t have to worry about being tortured for all eternity in Hell because we thought about sex for a purpose other than procreation.
I also want to point out that this isn’t just a problem that some Christians have toward sexuality; rather it is a problem that Christianity has toward sexuality. I will refer you to the handbook of Christianity, the Bible:
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.” – Matthew 5:28-30
Those are Jesus’s words. When it comes to sexual fantasies, just having them is a sin according to the Bible.
Varity is the spice of life and so as an atheist, I encourage people to not only have sexual fantasies, but to experience those fantasies with consenting adults whenever possible. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our fantasies or our sexuality. It shouldn’t matter if society considers something kinky or strange as long as the people involved are consenting adults, they shouldn’t feel societal pressure not to experiment with their sexual fantasies. Sometimes they will discover that the fantasy is better than the reality and other times they will enjoy the reality far more than the fantasy alone could have offered.