• How Many Vampires Did Abe Lincoln Kill As President?

    I got into a conversation recently with some people who were debating where exactly is the location of the Garden of Eden? Now to be fair, many of them didn’t believe that there was a physical garden and some even admitted that the story might be more of a metaphor. But one thing that left me dumbfounded was that it seemed that everyone was willing to entertain the question as if it were a legitimate question to ask and that everyone’s opinion on the matter should be respect.

    I wonder though, if people would be so quick to entertain a different question and respect the opinions of all those who answer this different question in a way that is counter to reason. How many vampires did Abe Lincoln kill as President of the United States? This question is a comparable question in my mind because it too deals with history and has factual elements and obviously fictional elements to the story.

    Now I confess that I haven’t read the book nor have I seen the movie (which got terrible reviews). But the point is still valid. If someone were to seriously claim that Abe Lincoln actually killed vampires while he was President, they are just stupid… okay, they might just be really, really gullible. I do think that when talking about the Garden of Eden, there are other factors at play though. There is of course indoctrination and the wide spread societal pressure and religious reinforcement of the belief and of course there is also the privileged status of religion in America . So the analogy isn’t perfect.

    Still, the point remains the same. We have history and common sense. No part of the Book of Genesis has been verified to be true and many aspects of the story have been dis-proven categorically. So right from the start, we are left with wondering why we should accept one part of the story (The Garden of Eden) while realizing that other parts of the story are ridiculous (talking snake with feet & the Earth being created in six literal days… just to name two).

    Yes, there are names of rivers mentioned in the Bible account of Eden. Two of which are actually real rivers… and two are not. But Abe Lincoln was President of the United States… and vampires don’t exist and never have (at least not in the way portrayed in the film or book). Anyone can write fiction and use real people and places to ground their stories. That doesn’t make the whole of the story true.

    I’m sorry, but the Garden of Eden is a fictional place and Adam and Eve never lived… they never lived to be 900-years-old nor did they live to be 900-seconds-old.  They are fictional! That’s not just my opinion either. It is the conclusion based on all the available facts. Of course, if someone were to produce any actual evidence to the contrary, I might re-evaluate that conclusion. But it is extremely unlikely. Just as unlikely as evidence coming to light which might suggest that Abe Lincoln actually fought vampires while he was President of the United States. Sure, it is possible… I guess. But without any credible evidence, it is just a silly claim which smacks credulity in the face.

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    Category: BibleReligionTruth

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    Article by: Staks Rosch

    Staks Rosch is a writer for the Skeptic Ink Network & Huffington Post, and is also a freelance writer for Publishers Weekly. Currently he serves as the head of the Philadelphia Coalition of Reason and is a stay-at-home dad.

    10 comments

    1. I don’t think the question of where the Garden of Eden is located is a silly one at all. It depends on the context of the question which I do not think you have made clear.

      There is of course the silly question of where it actually is located, as a physical place. Which is how you understood the question to be. But there is also the question of where the Garden of Eden is located in the mind of the author and of his readers. This is a perfectly valid question.

    2. Reviews be dammed! Able Lincoln Vampire Hunter was awesome. See it. If you don’t love it, I’ll eat my stovepipe hat!

    3. I’ve encountered this argument before from theists: “Since the Bible contains references to real place, that means its stories are all true.”

      My usual reply is that “The story of Paul Bunyan mentions the Grand Canyon. Seen any giant blue oxen lately?”

    4. A few thoughts on this. First, if enough people agreed with the Abe Lincoln silliness, then skeptics would be dedicating websites debunking it. Two, I think Mitt Romney would argue that Eden was in present day Missouri (isn’t that what the garden variety Mormon believes?). Third, there would be at least one museum in Kentucky dedicated to the axe-wielding battles Abe fought if enough people believed that it were true.

    5. On a totally different note, a few months ago I passed by a couple reviewing the promo poster for this movie. The guy read out the title–“Abraham Lincoln, Vampre Hunter.”

      And the girl asked, “What’s it about?”

      Seriously. Apparently that title left too much to the imagination.

    6. On a totally different note, a few months ago I passed by a couple reviewing the promo poster for this movie. The guy read out the title–“Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.”

      And the girl asked, “What’s it about?”

      Seriously. Apparently that title left too much to the imagination.

    7. It’s most idiotic blog i have ever read, your assumption are pathetic saying that bible is fictional sounds like atheist inner voice lol… Because we never been part of those moments history will always be mystery to us but however there are some artifacts that has reveal some portion of truth to us so making false argumentative theory does not produce any wrong the right

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