Last night, my family tuned in along with millions of Americans to witness an unprecedented debate: A former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State up against a congenitally wealthy reality show star with zero public policy experience. Clinton was predictably solid and well-prepared, aside from a bit of memorable waffling on TPP. Trump was in rare form, though, throwing out massive fibs and at least a couple shocking truths.
Here follow a few of my favorite lowlights from the event:
Climate Change is a Communist Plot
Trump kicked things off by straight-up lying to the American people about his stated position on climate change, an issue which is literally global in scope and significance.
Donald Trump did, in fact, blame China for inventing climate change https://t.co/aC2S4ajTVz
— TIME (@TIME) September 27, 2016
YOU LITERALLY TWEETED IT DONALD YOU SAID THAT CLIMATE CHANGE IS BY CHINA https://t.co/Q6PaU5VDCG
— molly (@mospilly) September 27, 2016
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 6, 2012
Skeptics, take note. Trump has somehow managed to wrap up deadly science denialism inside a package of delusional conspiracy theory.
Failing the laugh test
When the otherwise polite #debatenight audience laughed in the face of lying Trump … now, about his temperment pic.twitter.com/y110QouLCi
— RiotWomenn (@riotwomennn) September 27, 2016
This one is pretty much self-explanatory.
Profiteering during the Great Recession
“That’s called business, by the way.” https://t.co/sSmybGlyeD
— Jonathan Capehart (@CapehartJ) September 27, 2016
Confronted with an accusation of cheering on the housing crash, Trump unapologetically owns it and implies that profiting off of suffering is just part of how you run a business. Remember, this is a businessman who is running for President primarily on his business acumen. Speaking of which…
Avoiding taxes makes you smart
Donald Trump on not paying taxes: "That makes me smart"https://t.co/1Zv0b0Tpr8 🔓
— The Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) September 27, 2016
It might well be smart, it isn’t exactly patriotic, is it.
Ah, well, the government would have just squandered the money, anyhow.
I didn't pay taxes because you would have squandered it. #Trump pic.twitter.com/zNR9U8Vf26
— Ash (Autistic Icon….allegedly). (@AshtonLamont) September 27, 2016
“The Cyber”
WHAT IS THE CYBER?
— R/GA (@RGA) September 27, 2016
Sorry, we can't shed any insight on what Trump means by "cyber" and "the cyber." And this is our beat. https://t.co/TjIY6YpEbK #DebateNight
— WIRED (@WIRED) September 27, 2016
The burning question that #Anonymous would like to know post-debate: who will cyber harder against the cyber that is cybering everyone?
— Anonymous (@YourAnonNews) September 27, 2016
In fairness to Trump, he probably meant to discuss the topic of cybersecurity. I may have been too many drinks in at this point, but it sounded like he was planning to consult with his 10-y.o. son on how to track down an elusive 400-lb. hacker who is definitely not Russian. Come to think of it, that plotline may have been lifted directly from NCIS: Los Angeles.
The microphone was defective
Trump: They gave me a "defective" debate mic https://t.co/VmuXrT4dTs #debates pic.twitter.com/f88pr8KTos
— The Hill (@thehill) September 27, 2016
Pro-tip: When in doubt, complain about the tech. Nothing says leadership quite like shifting the blame.
To sum up, Trump should be president because he is a smart businessman who knows how to avoid taxes while taking advantage of the little people who are losing their homes. He has the best temperment in the race, the only temperment which can defeat the cyber.
Where do we sign up?
