Life in the big city. My role at work has really ramped up. We are a lean company — focusing on robotics — and our fight for business in a tough environment has been paying off.
Unfortunately, that means the work struggle happens on three fronts: (1) getting business, (2) getting new contracts going, and (3) keeping business. I don’t think I have ever been taxed so much before professionally. I am certainly a burnout candidate unless things change.
Since we’re having a good year, I may stick around here until bonuses come next March, and then I’ll look to move to something/someplace cushier.
Home life bustles, too. The three kids have school only for a few more weeks. I try to spend quality time with each, and they all want attention. The 5-year-old, who’s high functioning autistic, can be a handful, but he’s generally a sweet boy and very much a joy.
All the kids take their mother’s religion seriously. They pray every night to Jesus.
Lately, I have desired to make my views more known to them. The way I will do it is to self-publish a little book of things I’ve written. So far, the book includes seven sections, comprising my essays on family, religion, science, literature and other things. The thing takes up over 150 pages so far, and I’ll give it to my oldest — the ten-year-old — when she’s about 12 or so.
For your consideration and reaction, here’s a piece I wrote to the kids on expectations:
I have expectations of you. I expect you to behave as good and thoughtful people; to try your best always, and to keep your promises; to know yourselves, to set specific goals in all areas of your life, and to strive to reach them; to love and support your siblings as long as you live; to pursue your own happiness; and share your joys and yourself with the world.
In one sense, my expectations mean very little. You author your own lives, and you bear final responsibility for your choices. Your expectations of yourselves trump mine.
But I want you to know I have expectations because these how I love you, and my love includes envisioning happy and great things for you. When you enjoy and live life on your own terms, this reflects part of what your mother and I have wanted to convey to you in our parenting. Another part of what we want you to carry involves helping others and solving problems. Your life is a gift for sharing.
Surely, you will know times of sadness and maybe even hardship. Don’t worry too much about such times. Just keep a positive attitude and look to build on the good things. Whenever I’ve felt lost, I have remembered that it only takes one good thing—one true statement, even—to turn things around.
Life’s a funny old dog, I once heard someone say. In the face of life’s absurdity, the best lesson remains that you are what you do. Another way of saying this: “How you behave every day defines who you are.”
And who you are includes your mother and me, your siblings, your grandparents, your extended family, your ancestors, your neighbors, your friends, and more. You never act alone, and you never live without comfort.
Also, as you may know, I have a dissertation to write. I progress so slowly! Really, I wish I had the fortitude to push through a bit better.
That’s partly why I am now blogging again. I need motivation and inspiration, and I hope the community will come through.