• Why I Hate Jesus: A Top-Eight Countdown

    “Hate” is a strong word, yet apt enough. My top eight reasons for being down on the dude.


    8. He’s a terrible marketer. Most of the miracles attributed to Jesus are semi-private affairs. Why not do a red-sea thing or a stop-the-sun thing? Why prolong the whole drama? If you are the son of god or god or whatever, just give a big demo and let’s all move on.

    7. He generally behaves like a dick. Read the gospels. This is an abrasive and ill-tempered individual.

    6. He’s self-centered. C. S. Lewis made hay out of this quality, but I dare say that any of us encountering this sort of person will walk away flipping him the bird, either in real gesture or mentally.

    5. He’s a zealot. This is not a good quality in anyone.

    4. Parables suck. Parables are a terrible way to teach people. No one gets them, and no one gets them in the same way. If your goal is to help people and if you want them to gain knowledge, chances are you are not using parables as a primary teaching method.

    3. He’s fictional. I think there probably was one person, maybe more, who was a Joshua-type, miracle worker, and associated with messianic claims. But the person in the gospels and worshiped by Christians is non-existent.

    2. He’s derivative. Jesus is a rip-off of characters, sayings, and narrative from the Tanakh. There is virtually nothing original about him, his teachings, or his story.

    1. He’s boring! Everyone around Jesus–in the gospels, the Greek testament, and later Christianities–is more interesting than he is. Mary, Judas, Pilate, Peter, Paul, Augustine, and so on. Jesus is an utter robot, and a completely un-compelling character.

    Category: ReligionUncategorized


    Article by: Larry Tanner

    • Jack_Ma

      You left out the fact that he invented Hell.

      • Sean Madden

        hell is non existent

    • There you go. You and your atheist friends have 8 good reasons to buy that Festivus pole.

    • Jetwan Baines
    • Julio Lemos

      Man, that was childish. You can do better than that.

      • lartanner

        Childish in what way? I’m not allowed to dislike a character or use a countdown format?

        • Julio Lemos

          Yes, you’re allowed to do so, but no more than I’m allowed to state the reasons why I hate Madonna. That doesn’t say anything about Madonna — but it does say a lot about me. It is a post about you, and not an argument. And egotrips are a bit childish. I do not intend that to be an argument either. Peace, bro.

          • lartanner

            C’est la vie. I read music reviews often. Some, many even, are variations of “the reasons why I love/hate this album.” I don’t always agree with the reviewers or their reasons, but I generally appreciate knowing what they think and why. With this post, I thought readers might appreciate why I am meh on Jesus. The party line on the character is that he was just a super-great guy, all peaceful, fair, kind-hearted. I’ve never seen these traits in what I’ve read of Jesus. I think his blandness is all out of proportion to his fan base. You know who’s a great and human character? Colonel Aureliano Buendía, from Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ One Hundred Years of Solitude.

            • Julio Lemos

              Olright. I agree Aureliano Buendía is an interesting character. But even a non-militant atheist like me would appreciate great human characters who also happen to be (argh) Jesus-freaks, like Chesterton or Saint Francis. It may be a good exercise in objectivity. 🙂

            • lartanner

              Margery Kempe was a GREAT character. Robert Frost, I think, might have been very religious; it’s there in the poetry, under the surface. I think Jimmy Carter, like many US presidents, is very interesting. Honestly, religion doesn’t really factor into it. I’m only saying I think Jesus is way over-rated and why. If someone wanted me to elaborate on one or more reasons, then I would.

              What I am surprised about is that no one has contested any of the characterizations. Does everyone agree that Jesus is boring? If not, why? Where in the text is Jesus more interesting than the people around him?

            • Julio Lemos

              Well, I don’t think ‘boring’ is pretty much a category. A lot of people think Calculus is boring. I think it’s f****** exciting. Am I a freak?

    • IgtheistMorgan

      Yeshua was an apocalyptic, narcissistic cult leader, demanding that his sheep love him more than loving others, he came to break up families, brought a sword, not peace, despite that love business and was just another god-man, miracle monger and man of his time, touting old ethics and relishing about Hell, See a fuller account in deist, Miko Jako’s ” Confronting Believers” for more acerbic descriptions about the jerk, based on the Gospels in context!
      http:// igtheist.blogspot.com
      http:// ignosticway.wordpress.com

    • j

      man the creator of this reads what i have to say haha.
      8 he did do miraculous when he died the skies went dark. just a big demoe on? well what if a creator said, hello. u r ahere are many things to enjoy,, and various things u wouldnt want to experience. but goodbye . poof

      7 not a dick. if u have a superior understanding of something and u came from where god is, how else r u supposed to talk to ppl that r asking u questions than to prove that you r correct with the ultimate explanation. especially since making decisions for eternity need to be well-knowledged. also. he was here to get his point across. not to have fun. he was serious. he freed us from the curse of the law. ppl lived sinfully and suffered for it. hell. commongrave. then, now we just have to believe to enter heaven. what a gift huh?

      6 he totally gave his life when he was alive and on the cross. he was only trying to get his point across about how the new covenant would be established. with him. no one on top needs to prove anything unless theyre trying to help u there.

      5 if a kid was about to touch a pot on the stove,,,, dont you yell at him/her not to. if you cant reach them to slap their hand and drag them away fast enough. or do u think. maybe theyll like it. they should know what being burned feels like.

      4 he had the help of god. he knew things. it was hebrew not english. probably less thorough language. do u tell a 2 year old, straight up, or do u sugar code and gives examples so they can understand?? i doubt they had such a mutual togetherness with information as we do today. eh? haha

      3 fictional? a whole book. basic instructions before leaving earth. the year 2013 a.d. the year 0 was his age 6. our timeline revolves around him, and he never existed??

      2 god had his book written working through humans. so that people can know whats going on. children dont go to hell if they die early. that is innocence. but he wants us to make our own decisions. read the last book. and see if you can make any connections from how its the future. it was written in 560sumthin. if you dont wana believe the past check out the future. hes only tryna help anyhow. he got his ass kicked and didnt say anything. and healed people. told the truth and had to run away to hide from people because he needed a break. im sure it was worse than being famous. with no security. nay?

      1 he had a purpose. and god was using him. lame, yea. but he had to. hey u can burn forever and turn into maggots and be stabbed by demons forever, but ima sway from what im telling u and change my story up. parents that dont discipline their kids, end up with crazy kids. with exceptions to excessiveness. no one wants to be controlled. and hey they were asking. if ur in tune ur guna say the same stuff. the truth is unchanging. in heaven u serve god. we live under a sun. there, u understand hes giving u life. lit up by him. never forgetting. withh wiiings :] .. not one shadow. and ummmmm. im fun.

      • atheistintermarried

        Well…doesn’t that just explain everything. Except Superman’s better.

      • lartanner

        Spare me your torture fantasies. We have not one single word in the NT that can be attributed to “Jesus.” You believe what you were taught: that a work of fiction is true.

    • anonymous

      Let the lord give you understanding…god have mercy on your soul

      • lartanner

        Soul. Right.

        Let’s just keep on making up stuff. May your whammy-doodle always be in full frapulence.

    • Sanjay Mane

      My friend you have totally misunderstood and misinterpreted the Word.
      Jesus is the reason I am alive today. He gives life to them that ask
      EVEN TODAY. Try.

      • lartanner


        Jesus died a long time ago and stayed that way.

    • A

      No doubt constrains the greatness of our God. You know what? He still loves you even when you hate Him. You might not believe it but He does. Praying for you! Have a wonderful day.

      • lartanner

        And I just wish you well, me to you with no intermediary.

    • Eli Samuel

      1-well if Jesus is not real then why r u mad at a myth 2-If you have a real proof that god can’t take a human body then tell it to me
      3-His ability to forgive sins,his teachings,his love and his miracles proofs that he was God
      4-As you say(I mean being boring,Sucks or even fictional) doesn’mean he is not god or even he doesn’t exist
      5-Think again before it is too late

      • lartanner

        1-Who says I’m mad?
        2-Why do I need proof that Thor can’t take a human body, and what does “take a human body” mean?
        3-Buddha beats Jesus in forgiveness, teachings, love, and miracles.
        4-Agreed. He’s bo-oring. It’s a point that stands on its own.
        5-I have thought again. Have you ever considered that Jesus was probably a regular Jewish guy who just got some good press and marketing?

      • A Messenger of God

        Eli Samuel the Atheists in truth are fulfilling what Jesus said would happen for the Atheists do hate Jesus without a cause which is why the Atheists will now also seek to have laws passed as a means to hate, imprison and violently murder those that are true followers of Jesus as well.

        Eli Samuel it is written:

        “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

        If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

        Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

        But all these things will they do unto you for my name’s sake, because they know not him that sent me.

        If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin.

        He that hateth me hateth my Father also.

        If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.

        But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

        But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:

        And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning.”

        Gospel of John
        chapter 15
        verse 18 through verse 27

        • lartanner

          Who wrote the ‘Gospel of John’? How do you know? How certain are you?

    • 54blueroses

      Each one of these are your OPINION, except for the fact that Jesus did use parables to describe certain things because spiritual things are difficult to be understood in our physical world, parables are easier for our human mind to comprehend..

      • lartanner

        Yep. My opinion. Your opinion is that there was a Jesus, and that he used parables.

    • FukJesus

      Walked on water – then turned it into wine.. what a funk joke. You have to be a complete and utter moron to believe this tripe. I am sooooooo sick and tired of this dribble. I wish we could ban religion all together… muslims, christianity etc.. they can all go fuk off.

      • Sean Madden

        i agree

        • A Messenger of God

          Why don’t you both just advocate murdering Christians then since that is the true goal of Atheism.

    • HonestlySpeaking

      All i ever wanted from him was to have a wife and family that i Don’t have.

      • A Messenger of God

        HonestlySpeaking may the wife and family that you seek be given unto you according to your faith for I say unto you is all you have to do is ask and it shall be given you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you.

        All you have to do is ask Jesus our Lord and Saviour to give you a wife and a family and he shall give you the wife and family that you seek to have.

    • Scott Harrison

      Sean – if you sincerely believe that hell is non existent then you clearly haven’t suffered through a happy clappy Word of Faith church service recently. Now there’s clear evidence of torment.

    • Scott Harrison

      Mr F$&!jesus (so angry!) unfortunately the banning of religion invariably leads to excesses of hatred not dissimilar to the pathologies of religion itself. Stalin’s Russia and Mao’s China and hitler’s Germany come to mind.

    • A Messenger of God

      Why don’t you Atheists just go ahead and just start murdering Christians in order to enforce Atheism as the only belief then since that is the true goal of Atheism.

      • lartanner

        You misunderstand Atheism, as it embraces all people and rejects only dangerous and unwarranted ideas, such as Christianity. Advocacy of any sort of violence against people is no direct or indirect principle of Atheism. Unlike Christianity.

      • lartanner

        Where do Americans Christians get their false sense of persecution? Do you forget how murderous Christianity has been and remains today?

    • Hail Satan

      Jesus Christ is a fucking ugly scumbag that was nailed to the cross with a dick sticking out of his fucking mouth. Hail Satan.