Aah, The Daily Mash is brilliant. I’m sure it;s written by the same writers as Viz…:
RELIGION is still being taken seriously by billions of people, according to new research.
The Institute for Studies found that every country in the world contained at least one thousand humans who do not regard worshipping a God as an utter waste of time.
The Institute assembled a group of 650 worshippers of different faiths, nationalities, ages and genders to test how easily they could be offended about myths.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “In each case we burgled their house, started an absolutely disgusting internet rumour about them and made a glib remark about their god.
“They were peeved by the burglary, saddened by the rumour and when it came to God they threatened to decapitate and disembowel me and anyone whose first name begins with an ‘H’.”
He added: “In Christian countries we sensed the threat was fairly empty because those people tend to have houses and jobs.
“In Hindu and Buddhist societies the threats would have been menacing if we all weren’t already choking to death on exhaust fumes and there was room to swing a cat.
“And in Islamic countries we realised that most of these people have nothing to lose and so we ran like fuck.”
Professor Brubaker said the internet had made it much easier for religion to be taken seriously by lots of people at the same time and called for it to be burnt at the stake.