I come from a Mormon household. As a kid, I went to the local Church of Latter-day Saints many times. For it though, I was never aware of most of the batshit-crazy doctrines of the Mormon church. You’d think that if Mormons really thought their beliefs were the revelation of God, they would want everyone to know. Instead, they keep their sacred beliefs about other (Mormon-populated) planets, divine space ships, and magic underwear on the down-low, sort of like black members of their church before 1978. They should have told me about the sci-fi parts, I might have stuck around longer if I thought I could have had my own planet and space ship.
If you’re like me a few years ago, you probably had an idea that Mormonism was just an oddball Christian splinter. Get your own “magic” underwear on.. you might need it for this next bit.
A few of the highlights:
- special hats and veils for high-ranking Mormons, as they bow in unison
- baptising the dead of other religions using a race-appropriate child as a stand-in (you wouldn’t want a baptismal proxy with the wrong color soul, after all)
- there are secret passwords, knock, and handshakes for getting into heaven
- people can become gods when they die
- Mitt Romney must have done all of this, as he was a Bishop
I’m tempted to say you can’t make this stuff up.. but then again, someone obviously did.
