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Posted by on Jun 19, 2014 in FYI | 6 comments

Lusty Knees

 

Martyn Ballestro has a problem. A big problem. A knee problem.

They’re everywhere!! (Two exclamation points are his.)

They never used to be seen in Pentecostal Churches, but they are now. If they were ever seOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAen in church in the old days, an embarrassed apology was made. But not any more!

Now, they come to many church and do not mind being obvious about showing up. They seem to enjoy the attention they attract, too.

Some of the time they come to church and no one notices them when they walk in, after they finally sit down. Then it’s like, they say Boo! and get your attention. They sure know how to catch folks off guard.

Oh my! Those wily knees. Popping out everywhere. I guess we’re supposed to hide them… “we” meaning “women.” He doesn’t have much to say when it comes to the male version of that particular body part.

Now, they come to our General Conferences, Camp Meetings, Rallies and especially Sunday Morning Services. They love to be seen and enjoy the attention and the limelight found even on the platform.

Actually, the few that are unhappy to see them in church any more… now just turn their heads and try to ignore them. Like an ostrich with it’s head in the sand.

It used to be a problem when they showed up anywhere, especially church. But now, they’ve even come to church with some preacher’s wives and daughters. Go figure.

Now, he’s identified a huge problem. Forget any other issue church, society,  or women may face, the visible female knees trump them all.

They’re Everywhere!!

They’re Seen Everywhere In Church Nowadays. Why?

I can’t imagine how anyone with sinful knees would wind up in church. Perhaps there’s a correlation between owning a pair of female knees and rampant sin committing. Perhaps all the ills of society can be pinned on the presence of the female knee. Or worse yet, what if world hunger could be ended if ONLY women didn’t possess knees? :)

If you find the post puzzling, wait ’til you take a gander at some of the comments.

Preach it!
10 inches from the floor or you are not a Lady!

Dang. I suppose that makes my shorts too short. Wait a minute. What’s supposed to be ten inches from the floor? Are they talking pants, shorts, capris, dresses, skirts… what? Looks like my shorts are taboo. :(

Love it! Lately the skirts i have seen have become shorter and shorter.Some barely below the knees and the people wearing them pulling ob them to make sure the knees are covered.I think to my self if we trimming hem lines will the hair be next!?!?! This is embarrasing and sad.

Woah. I’m definitely out on this one. Shorts plus a pixie hair cut equals a “not a lady.” Dang. I’ll inform my husband of this sad development.

AMEN BROTHER………….AND WHILE YOUR AT IT BROTHER WRITE ONE ON CLEAVAGE………..I NOTICE THE TOPS ARE GETTING LOWER AND LOWER ALSO……………………………

(Pssssst. You may want to look up this term: ellipsis. Also, check out the word “homonym.” “Your” and “you’re” are not interchangeable. Also, you may not realize this, but your caps lock is stuck. I hope you clear up these issues before you home school your child. Just a friendly reminder.)

All the comments support the post, probably because of this:

Dear Readers, With All Due Respect, The whole purpose of The Ballestero Blog is to promote the Apostolic Lifestyle and it is not intended to be a debate forum. Readers attempting to post opposing viewpoints would be better served debating their opinion elsewhere, or maybe even by getting their own blog. Thank you for reading.

Okey dokey. I guess me and my ungodly knees will have to carry on elsewhere despite our blatant sinfulness.

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6 Comments

  1. I wonder how he and his supporters would react it you told them there was a garment designed specifically to deal with all this ungodliness, it’s called a ‘burqa’…

    • Ha. Great point. Personally, I got stuck on the whole hair thing. Seriously? The women can’t cut their hair? I suppose the burqa would take care of that issue as well… Thanks for the comment. :)

  2. You wonder when these clowns will ever understand a dress is not a yes

    • Mind boggling. Simply, mind boggling.

      I’m glad to see you, Peter! I hope all is well in Canada. :)

      • Hi BethAnn, how are things. I posted a comment on your post about science and logic asking how your appointment with the onogologist went but you never got back to me. So, how did it go, good news I hope. Actually, things are not going well in my little part of Canada. Last Tuesday two tornados touched down, one in Angus which is about ten miles from us. Later we learned another tracked right near us. Unbelievable. Lots of destruction and I live in the country in a mobile home park near a large forest. The trees there were flattened. Right beside my place is a huge maple tree that must be 100 years old and about a 100 ft. tall. The wind and rain was so loud we couldn’t hear anything. When things calmed down we went out to investigate and that tree had split right down the middle and that part fell on our back neighbours roof. Lots of damage everywhere and we went without hydro (electricity) for 5 days! Nothing like cold instant coffee in the morning. Yesterday, another band passed through and another twister touched down just south of us. And, how was your day, lol. Anyway, hope everything is good for you.

        • Wow. Talk about crazy weather. Take care, and be safe.

          I’m sorry I missed your last comment. My final cancerversary tests turned out well. One year down, four to go before my remission upgrades to whatever they say it’ll be. Doc figures my wonky liver number is my “normal.” How ’bout that. :)

          Right after I got my results, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He’s in the hospital right now. Dang. Life sure can be interesting, eh?

          I’m glad you and yours are safe. If I were offline for five days, I’m not sure what I’d do. :)

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