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Posted by on Feb 4, 2013 in In the News | 8 comments

His penis contains holy milk

 

While it’s difficult to comprehend that anyone would believe this, it’s evidently true.

Just when you think you had heard it all, another malicious and alarming crime committed by a criminal priest, nun, minister or pastor, surfaces. This one has to be one of the most shocking yet…an Evangelical Pastor managed to abuse victims after convincing them that his penis contains HOLY MILK. The criminal: Valdeci Sobreni Picano of Brazil.

Valdeci Sobrino Picanto is a Brazilian Evangelical Pastor. He has been arrested after deceiving the faithful using the name of the “Holy Spirit”, by using these foolish lies. This criminal pastor claimed that the Holy Spirit would secrete from his penis in the form of “sacred milk”. This pastor said that his penis was blessed and that “the Lord had consecrated him with divine milk of the Holy Spirit” and, of course, he had to release it in order to “evangelize”.

Hmmm. Words escape me.

“He has convinced us that only God could come into our lives through our mouth and that’s why he would do what he did”. Often, after worship, pastor Valdeci would take us to the where the funds were kept at the back of the Church and asked us to have Oral sex with him until the Holy Spirit would come through ejaculation”.

The pastor is currently in jail. However, he intends to keep “disseminating” the holy spirit with his cellmates.

Link

  • Vic

    Where have I heard this story before? Ah yes, I once saw a Japanese movie wh… uhm, on second thought, forget what I said.

    • BethAnnErickson

      Oh, the images you just conjured. Argh.

      • Vic

        Heh, sorry.

        But lighter moods aside, I think we are all happy this man is now in jail. It’s just an example how religion can be used to exploit others in horrendous ways for personal gain.

        • BethAnnErickson

          You hit the nail on the head. It’s the incredible exploitation that drives me crazy.

  • David Brunton

    Didn’t barney stinson pull; that exact same play once?

    • BethAnnErickson

      I believe you’re correct.

  • rg57

    Perhaps his god is Priapus. Someone did try to set up such a church in recent years.

    If people need to tell themselves they’re giving their priest a BJ because it’s “holy”, whatever. Let’s not pretend these adults are “victims”.