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Posted by on Nov 11, 2013 in Equal Marriage, Ireland | 18 comments

Children of same-sex couples send equal marriage opponents a message.

There is an argument prevailing among equal marriage opponents that equal marriage will somehow violate a child’s natural right to a mother and a father. For instance, this below image created by the Ruth Institute has been circulated by the usual anti-equal marriage groups.

 

The Iona Institute, a very vocal group who oppose equal marriage in Ireland, has reiterated this point on numerous occasions. They claim that by extending marriage to homosexual couples it will undermine the right’s of children born into same-sex couples.

Aside from the fact that this argument is a complete non-sequitur as marriage equality and same-sex parenting are two different issues, something I address here, but it is also strange as I have never heard any children of same-sex couples complain about their rights being violated. Throughout history it was those whose rights that were being denied who advocated against the inequality they suffered. So, either marriage equality opponents have unearthed the first ever example of where people aren’t willing to speak up against the inequality they face, or children of same-sex couples simply don’t feel as though their rights have been violated. Unlike equal marriage opponents I decided to ask children of same-sex couples how they felt about their upbringing and about the marriage equality debate. The response was amazing and I received many heart-warming emails, but in the interests of readability I will simply detail four responses.

Conor Pendergrast, 27, raised by two women.

Ailbhe Egan, 22, raised by two women.

Courtney Arthur, 25, raised by two men.

Linzi Harvey, 31, raised by two women.

Do you think being raised by a same-sex couple has had any negative impact on your life?

Conor

No, I loved my upbringing and would not like any aspect of it changed. The only negative was how differently society treated my family, socially and in law. If the government treats people differently this will inevitably filter into our values as a society. Discriminatory laws codify discrimination into our society, which is very damaging. Nobody learns about mother-mother or father-father in school, this makes children of same couples feels ostracised. Discriminatory laws also deny children the protection they deserve. If, for instance, something happened to my biological mother while I was young my other mother would not been recognised as my mother in any laws. This would have been very damaging as this is the woman who has raised me since birth whom I love very much.

Ailbhe

I have never felt that my family was lacking in any way, I was brought up in a very loving and open household with two fantastic parents. There was never any doubt in my mind that my mothers loved, supported and valued me completely. Having two parents of the same gender, and not having contact with my biological father never made a difference to me. I always knew my family was slightly different to many of my friends’ families, but I was brought up to believe all families are different in their own way, and none are more or less equal and valid than others. I was taught that it doesn’t matter if your parents are gay, straight, married, adoptive, or step parents, as long as they are loving, respectful and caring.

Linzi

I don’t think it has had any negative impact on me at all. My parents provided me with a childhood I wouldn’t swap for anything else. I was loved and kept safe in a stable environment – and on the most part I didn’t realise my home-life was different to anyone else’s, certainly not as a young child.

Courtney

There was definitely not any negative impact on my life or my brother’s. We were raised in a very healthy home, my ‘stepfather’ was definitely the mother figure in our house, he did all of the domestic duties, the cooking, cleaning, laundry, getting my brother and I cleaned up and ready for school, teaching me how to be a woman when I hit puberty, how to do my hair and makeup, basically everything that a mother would do in a heterosexual home. We grew up in a way not many are able to do so, and due to the things we went through as far as people bullying us early on in school when they found out about our fathers, churches and youth groups basically exiling us for supporting our fathers’ , and being judged based on how our home was run differently than many others, we came out stronger and more open minded than we probably would have been had we grown up in a heterosexual parents’ household.

Would you like your parents to be able to get married?

Conor

Yes, I would love if they were able to get married. I am currently engaged and I find it ridiculous that I can get married yet my mothers who have been together for 30 years cannot.

Ailbhe

When I was 19 my mothers split up after nearly 30 years together, but they are both still very much my parents and have a lot of involvement in my life. They are both now in relationships with other women and I don’t think the fact that their first relationship didn’t work out lessens their right to equal marriage. I would still love to see my parents have the option to marry the person they love, and for the state to properly recognise their families as such.

Linzi

They had a civil ceremony a few years ago, on their 25th anniversary. It was wonderful, a culmination of a lifetime of love and living together and finally being supported ‘officially’. For people that care about marriage particularly, the option to do so would probably mean a similar thing, but I think my parents are happy with their civil ceremony (which they refer to as ‘being married’ anyway!).

Courtney

My brother and I wanted nothing more than for our parents to be able to marry legally. They had a civil union about 6 months after their first date in a state that granted civil unions among same-sex couples, but of course it was not recognized once they came back home. They truly shared the most amazing love I have ever witnessed in my life, and I feel lucky enough to have that with my own husband today. My stepfather died from metastatic cancer a few years ago, and it was a terrible tragedy that affected my brother and I for a long time, losing such a great parent that we were so close to. My dads always wanted to get married, they would spend some evenings playing outside with us and I vividly remember both of them saying they have everything they could ever want, if only they could get married and it be recognized just like every other couple. I remember how much hope they both had that it would happen soon enough, but my stepfather died before they ever got the chance. Due to my parents not being able to marry, many of the healthcare costs that we endured during my stepfather’s cancer treatment was out of pocket and bankrupted my father shortly after his death. On top of that, we ended up having issues with the funeral and burial because my stepfather’s parents decided to come into the picture last minute and claim they got to decide how everything ended because we were technically ‘not his family.’ We even had my stepfather’s last wishes notarized, but because they were not legally married, it did not matter, my stepfather’s elusive family chose how to end things the way they wanted to, which left even more emotional damage on all of us in the end on top of his death because he never got his last wishes.

How do you feel about the fact that one of your parents is a non-biological parent?

Conor

Over emphasis on biology does a disservice to adoptive and step parents. The fact me and one of my mothers do not share DNA does not lessen our relationship at all. People don’t need to be genetically connected to form a loving relationship. I love my parents. These are the people who raised me, through the terrible twos, teenage years, university; that is parenting, not DNA.

Ailbhe

When I was growing up, I was very conscious of the fact that my family was not legally recognised as such, and that, in the eyes of the law, one of my parents was technically a stranger. It never seemed fair that one of my moms, who had been there for me since birth, couldn’t sign consent forms for me in school or at the doctor’s, and should something happen to her, I might not be allowed visiting rights to see her in the hospital. This was not an abstract fear as there are many families all over Ireland dealing with this reality every day. Couples of 20 or 30 years are not recognised as spouses, or their child might not be seen as theirs. I never ever wished my parents were straight, but I longed for the protection my friends of married parents had, instead of being told my family wasn’t equal, or that my parents were unfit to raise me, purely because of who they loved.

Linzi

Families have all sorts of configurations, they always have done and I imagine they always will. You have ‘aunties’ who are just family friends, and good friends you think of as sisters, what’s biology really got to do with how you feel about someone? I honestly don’t consider Eve to be anything other than a parent, the genetics never get in the way of me feeling like her daughter.

Courtney

It never bothered me, even during all the bullying, whispers, and being told I was going to hell for loving and supporting my fathers, I never looked at my step-dad and thought, “I wish he was my actual mother, a woman, who birthed me.” I was very lucky to have him as a father, and his influence on me has lasted a lifetime and will continue to do so.

Do you think your rights have been violated as you do not have a mother and a father?

Conor

No, however, my rights are being violated as the government only recognises heteronormative relationships. The lack of legal protections can be damaging to same-couples but can be particularly damaging to children. Equal rights under the law is the only way to protect children.

Ailbhe

I think every child has the right to a loving family and a safe home, and this means something different for every child and every situation, but I certainly don’t feel my parents violated my rights by not having a father in my life. But I do feel the state violated my rights as a child by not recognising both of my mothers as such, and not giving my family the security and protection of other families.

Linzi

Children have a right to be taken care of, loved and valued. That’s the important thing. If you get that in a mother/father family, that’s great. If you get that in a mother/mother or father/father family, that’s great too. I would argue very vehemently with anyone who would argue that somehow my happy childhood was a violation of my rights. I know very well that it wasn’t.

Courtney

Not at all, I had the best of both worlds. I had a mother in one of my father’s, and he was the best mother on this planet!

What do you say to those who purport to oppose equal marriage in the name of your supposed right to a mother and a father?

Conor

Nevermind your ideals, reality exists. Homosexual couples have children and will continue to do so. Opposing same-sex marriage is harming those children as they are being denied the protections they need. This is a reality for us, not a hypothetical. If someone is interested in marriage equality then please listen to us, we exist, hear our voices. If you would like to speak for me, please to me, we have our own voice and you need to listen.

Ailbhe

People always talk about “what if gay people had children”, and “what if a child was raised by two women/two men”, but it’s not a question of what if or when. This is happening right now, and has been happening for decades. Gay people have families and are raising children, and the law needs to recognise this. This country claims to prioritise the rights of the child, therefore children of same sex families must be given the same rights and protection as other children across the country.

Linzi

I think people who oppose equal marriage on these grounds may have lost sight of what really matters for children as they are growing up. It’s not the genital configuration or the sexuality of their parents, it’s how they are treated by them. Children can be hugely accepting of all sorts of situations – which is perhaps something that opponents of equal marriage might want to try out.

Courtney

Yes, simply to not be so judgmental on those who live, love, and marry those of the same sex. Do not be so quick to express hate for those who want to adopt or already have children from a previous marriage, instead let them live and love, let them adopt all the sweet children whose own parents have passed or did not want to have children of their own in their lives.

Although this is only the voice of four such individuals, their voice is consistent and almost unified. Indeed there are many others out there telling their story and trying to have their voices heard. Children of same-sex parents have been ignored during the equal marriage debate. This only serves equal marriage opponents as they like to ignore the fact that homosexual families exist, that children are being born to same-sex couples constantly, and those children are happy about it.

This article had two objectives: to try and get the voices of children of same-sex parents out there and to show that although opponents of equal marriage claim to speak for children, they don’t. Their argument is simply a charade, and quite a disgusting one at that. To use children of same-sex couples, people who support equal marriage wholeheartedly,  as an argument against equal marriage is despicable. They claim to care for these children yet the reality is they are harming them by feeding into the narrative that homosexual couples aren’t equal to heterosexual couples and also by denying them equal protection under the law. If they spoke to children of homosexual couples and truly cared about them they would not oppose equal marriage, they would realise the damage that their position can cause these children. But they have never talked to them, and they never will.

The equal marriage debate is going to continue for quite some time. We need to ensure that the voices of children of same-sex couples can be heard. People need to realise these families exist and are not some hypothetical that will only occur once marriage equality is attained. They are a reality, and they deserve equality.

  • http://danbreen.myopenid.com/ Dan Breen

    Children of same sex couples? What? Shouldn’t this read Guardians?

    • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

      No. Why?

  • Pingback: Is Enda Kenny going to support Gay Marriage or not? - Page 93

  • http://biblicalscholarship.wordpress.com Jayman

    I have never heard any children of same-sex couples complain about their rights being violated

    See here:

    http://anonymousus.org/

    Note that the site is about third-party reproduction and not just about same-sex couples with children. However, under the “Stories” section you can read accounts from children with two mothers or two fathers. Heterosexuals can be just as guilty of violating the rights of a child as homosexuals.

    Throughout history it was those whose rights that were being denied who advocated against the inequality they suffered.

    I wouldn’t expect children to speak up for themselves. Even adult children may not want to offend the people who raised them. And parents, desperate for a child, could easily rationalize what they are doing.

    If they spoke to children of homosexual couples and truly cared about them they would not oppose equal marriage, they would realise the damage that their position can cause these children. But they have never talked to them, and they never will.

    Robert Oscar Lopez was raised by two lesbians and opposes same-sex marriage and touts children’s rights. Then there are the homosexuals against same-sex marriage. This is an ethical issue that needs to be decided on the basis of arguments. The viewpoints of children of homosexual couples are not decisive arguments.

    • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

      By violating rights, I mean rights to a mother or father. That sentence is dependent entirely on the context of the article.

      “I wouldn’t expect children to speak up for themselves. Even adult children may not want to offend the people who raised them.” – This is a very infantilising view of children of same-sex parents. Not only does it insult them by suggesting they are incapable of discerning what is good for them and negates their experiences but it implies that they aren’t telling the truth when they speak of the love they feel for their parents.

      Robert Oscar Lopez is just one man who not only said that gay parenting is child abuse but so is adopted parenting and single parenting. Not to mention Lopez had a father. If you read Lopez’s writings it is clear he suffered from having gay parents, but it was the homophobia that was the problem, not the parenting. But instead of blaming his father who neglected him and the homophobes for their bigotry, he has taken it out on his parents.

      Either way, Lopez is just one of tens of thousands of children raised by same sex couples. If children of same sex couples were truly being denied their rights as many claim then there would be many, many more. There isn’t.

      “This is an ethical issue that needs to be decided on the basis of arguments. The viewpoints of children of homosexual couples are not decisive arguments.”

      I agree to an extent. But this isn’t my sole argument for equal marriage. It actually isn’t really an argument, it’s a counter argument. But it would be erroneous to say that their experiences don’t count in this debate, their experiences are very important.

      I am yet to hear an argument against equal marriage that isn’t rooted in homophobia,

      • http://biblicalscholarship.wordpress.com Jayman

        By violating rights, I mean rights to a mother or father.

        The Ruth Institute is speaking of a right to know your biological mother and father. The link I provided was to a site where children note downsides to not knowing their biological mother or father. You can still argue whether the right in question is truly a right but you can no longer say you’ve never heard of complaints from children of same-sex couples.

        This is a very infantilising view of children of same-sex parents. Not only does it insult them by suggesting they are incapable of discerning what is good for them and negates their experiences but it implies that they aren’t telling the truth when they speak of the love they feel for their parents.

        My comment applies just as much to children of opposite-sex parents as it does to children of same-sex parents. It is because children love their parents that they may not state what mistakes they think their parents made in raising them (especially publicly and for political purposes). My point was that the fact that not many children speak out against their parents is not indicative of much.

        But instead of blaming his father who neglected him and the homophobes for their bigotry, he has taken it out on his parents.

        Now who’s negating experiences? I’ve seen him criticize his father and praise his mothers (e.g., “My answer to him was that I suffered from not having contact with my father but I benefited greatly from my mother and her partner’s decision to raise us without officializing us as “children of same-sex couples” the way modern children of same-sex couples are being exploited for political gain.”).

        If children of same sex couples were truly being denied their rights as many claim then there would be many, many more.

        Why assume that? People such as yourself would immediately try to marginalize and attack them.

        I am yet to hear an argument against equal marriage that isn’t rooted in homophobia,

        So you’ve never read articles by homosexuals against same-sex marriage? Or are they homophobic too?

        • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

          “The Ruth Institute is speaking of a right to know your biological mother and father. The link I provided was to a site where children note downsides to not knowing their biological mother or father. You can still argue whether the right in question is truly a right but you can no longer say you’ve never heard of complaints from children of same-sex couples.”

          That is argument about sperm and egg donation then, not about equal marriage which is how the Ruth Institute used it. Especially since egg and sperm donation is overwhelmingly used by heterosexuals.

          “Now who’s negating experiences?” – I am not negating his experience, I am dismissing his arguments as invalid based on his writings, not negate a whole swath of people as you did.

          “Why assume that? People such as yourself would immediately try to marginalize and attack them.”

          I assume that based on what I have observed through history. Those who’ve had their rights violated have always been willing to speak out, even when it was against their own parents. And no I would not marginalise and attack them, this is a baseless assumption on your part.

          “So you’ve never read articles by homosexuals against same-sex marriage? Or are they homophobic too?”

          I said the arguments were homophobic, not the people. And yes, homosexuals can be homophobic and can use homophobic language and arguments. Just like how many women fought against universal suffrage and regurgitated the same sexist nonsense as the sexist men.

          • http://biblicalscholarship.wordpress.com Jayman

            That is argument about sperm and egg donation then, not about equal marriage which is how the Ruth Institute used it. Especially since egg and sperm donation is overwhelmingly used by heterosexuals.

            The Ruth Institute poster says “redefining marriage redefines parenthood”. You may disagree with that statement. But if positive stories from children of same-sex couples matter then so do negative stories.

            I am not negating his experience, I am dismissing his arguments as invalid based on his writings, not negate a whole swath of people as you did.

            I did not negate anyone. I’m noting that not every story is a positive one. Your post was entirely one-sided.

            And no I would not marginalise and attack them, this is a baseless assumption on your part.

            It’s based on the fact that you immediately played the homophobia card and tried to marginalize Lopez as one man.

            I said the arguments were homophobic, not the people.

            Can you quote the homophobic arguments from this article?

            Xavier Bongibault, an atheist homosexual, is a prominent spokesman against the bill. “In France, marriage is not designed to protect the love between two people. French marriage is specifically designed to provide children with families,” he said in an interview. “[T]he most serious study done so far . . . demonstrates quite clearly that a child has trouble being raised by gay parents.”

            Is a definition of marriage homophobic? Are appeals to studies homophobic?

            Jean Marc, who has lived with a man for 20 years, insists, “The LGBT movement that speaks out in the media . . . They don’t speak for me. As a society we should not be encouraging this. It’s not biologically natural.”

            Is it homophobic to point out that only a man and a woman can naturally reproduce?

            Outraged by the bill, 66-year old Jean-Dominique Bunel, a specialist in humanitarian law who has done relief work in war-torn areas, told Le Figaro he “was raised by two women” and that he “suffered from the lack of a father, a daily presence, a character and a properly masculine example, some counterweight to the relationship of my mother to her lover. I was aware of it at a very early age. I lived that absence of a father, experienced it, as an amputation.”

            “As soon as I learned that the government was going to officialize marriage between two people of the same sex, I was thrown into disarray,” he explained. It would be “institutionalizing a situation that had scarred me considerably. In that there is an injustice that I can in no way allow.” If the women who raised him had been married, “I would have jumped into the fray and would have brought a complaint before the French state and before the European Court of Human Rights, for the violation of my right to a mom and a dad.”

            It’s worth quoting this man’s experience since it provides another counter-weight to your post.

          • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

            Yes, negative one’s of course count. And my post is “one-sided” simply because the people who responded simply responded with nothing but positivity. If I had received even one negative response I would have included it, but I didn’t.

            But let’s be clear about one thing, same-sex parenting and equal marriage are different issues. Even if the government made it illegal for homosexuals to adopt or conceive through egg and sperm donation, homosexuals still would want get married. So if you wish to make the “children” argument then do so on its own merits and not use it to deny marriage equality. The purpose of this article was to say that nobody gets to speak for children of same-sex couples but those children themselves. Whether those experiences be negative or positive.

            “In France, marriage is not designed to protect the love between two people” – Nobody gets to tell anybody else what their marriage should be about, if people want to have a child-centred marriage that is fine, if people want to get married simply for love then that is also fine. Saying marriage is only about children diminishes the love shared between infertile couples, couples who marry late in life or simply people who don’t want children.

            As for that “serious study” he quotes, I suggest you research it yourself. It is pseudo-science of the worst kind. Regnerus was paid by the Witherspoon institute to come up with that conclusion. He didn’t even study same-sex couples, he studied any person who had a same-sex relationship at any stage in their life and compared them to stable married homosexual couples. He essential gerrymandered the study knowing equal marriage opponents would accept it with open arms without question.

            I invite you to read this post I did which catalogs all the studies done into same-sex parenting. And unlike Regnerus’ paper, these are done by child developmental psychologists, psychiatrists, and pediatricians. Plus their research went through peer review. Regnerus’ study did not.

            http://www.skepticink.com/humanisticas/2013/05/09/229/

          • http://biblicalscholarship.wordpress.com Jayman

            Peter:

            And my post is “one-sided” simply because the people who responded simply responded with nothing but positivity.

            But then you went on about never hearing negative stories. It’s like you didn’t look for negative stories. And then you talked about how opponents of same-sex marriage wouldn’t talk to children of homosexuals.

            Nobody gets to tell anybody else what their marriage should be about, if people want to have a child-centred marriage that is fine, if people want to get married simply for love then that is also fine.

            What’s the purpose of the government recognizing marriages at all? Once a purpose is given then some relationships will be in line with that purpose and some will not be.

            Saying marriage is only about children diminishes the love shared between infertile couples, couples who marry late in life or simply people who don’t want children.

            Really? My love for my wife is dependent on what people say marriage is about?

          • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

            “And then you talked about how opponents of same-sex marriage wouldn’t talk to children of homosexuals.” – They seemingly only want to talk to those who agree with them. I am more than willing to listen to those who disagree with me, none approached me.

            “What’s the purpose of the government recognizing marriages at all?”

            Legal protections, simple as that.

            “Really? My love for my wife is dependent on what people say marriage is about?”

            If people want to say that marriage is about children it insinuates that people who have no children don’t have a real marriage. Marriage is what people want to make it, nobody owns it.

          • http://biblicalscholarship.wordpress.com Jayman

            Legal protections, simple as that.

            Can someone disagree with you on that matter without being labeled a homophobe?

            If people want to say that marriage is about children it insinuates that people who have no children don’t have a real marriage.

            True, but that’s different from diminishing love. Not being married isn’t the end of the world.

          • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

            “Can someone disagree with you on that matter without being labeled a homophobe?” – Completely depends on their reasoning.

  • paulmoloney

    “I have never heard any children of same-sex couples complain about their rights being violated

    See here:

    http://anonymousus.org/

    But that’s about being conceived by donor, not about being raised by same-sex partners. One can know one’s biological parents _and_ by raised by a same-sex couple. They are not mutually exclusive and it’s a tactic to pretend they are the same issue.

    P.

    • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

      Exactly. One thing I do agree with David Quinn about is there needs to be a discussion about sperm and egg donation in Ireland . But it is not an equal marriage issue as he makes it out to be. And gay people would still like to get married even if there was an outright ban on sperm and egg donation.

    • http://biblicalscholarship.wordpress.com Jayman

      Paul, I already included a caveat. However, some of the stories are about being raised by same-sex couples. Same-sex couples cannot reproduce naturally so any child they care for will be an orphan or conceived through artificial means.

      Child of lesbian parents

      I have gay parents.

      I spend most of my time at my best friends house. I hang out with her Dad cuz I never had one and he is this awesome guy. My friends Dad is a lot like Charlie from Twilight! I cried when I read about Bellas father in the books and in all his scenes in the movies. Mostly at my friends house it feels like I can just be myself. Someone has to say it cuz I dont hear it but gay parents are selfish in a way. They dont think what its going to be like for me to live in their world.

      Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I a bad daughter because I wish I had a Dad? Is there anyone else who has 2 Moms or 2 Dads who wonders what it would be like if they were born into a normal family? Is ther anyone else who wants to be able to use the word normal without gettin a lecture on what is normal???

      I dont know my real father and never will. Its weird but I miss him. I miss this man I will never know. Is it wrong for me to long for a father like my friends have? She has two brothers I play basketball with all the time. It feels so amazing to be included in their family. When I am there I think this is what its like to be in a family that has a Mom and a Dad. Then I have have to go home to my own world. I just dont fit in it anymore.

      And Peter, here’s one from a person raised by two lesbians that starts: “I love my family, and I can’t help but feeling that I am betraying them a little by coming here and posting this. It feels a little like I’m spitting in their face after 19 years of loving care, but it has to be said.” Note the conflicted feeling I said would inhibit people from coming forward.

      • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

        I don’t see anywhere where these people argue against equal marriage or even suggest they wish they weren’t raised by same-sex parents. They are merely express an interest in knowing who their biological parent is. One even says she doesn’t want to meet him, she just wants to know.

        I am not sure how many more times I have to say this: egg and sperm donation is a conversation that must me had, but it’s not solely an LGBT issue, and it certainly isn’t an equal marriage issue. These methods of conceiving are overwhelmingly used by heterosexual couples.

        • http://biblicalscholarship.wordpress.com Jayman

          I don’t see anywhere where these people argue against equal marriage or even suggest they wish they weren’t raised by same-sex parents.

          I’m not claiming they are arguing against same-sex marriage. I’m merely providing them as an example of issues that can arise in homes with same-sex parents. The daughter I quoted at length seems to have serious concerns to me. She calls gay parents “selfish in a way”. She seems annoyed that she can’t simply say what a normal family is without getting a lecture. She has a deep longing for a father.

          I am not sure how many more times I have to say this: egg and sperm donation is a conversation that must me had, but it’s not solely an LGBT issue, and it certainly isn’t an equal marriage issue. These methods of conceiving are overwhelmingly used by heterosexual couples.

          I understand your desire to separate reproductive technologies from same-sex marriage and I noted in my first comment that heterosexuals can also abuse such technologies. But the reason you can separate same-sex marriage from same-sex parenting is because you don’t link marriage to children.

          • http://skepticink.com/humanisticas/ Peter Ferguson

            “I’m not claiming they are arguing against same-sex marriage.” – Then you completely misunderstand the point of this article, this article is about equal marriage.

            “I’m merely providing them as an example of issues that can arise in homes with same-sex parents.” – Issues arise is every family form, but we do not deny them marriage rights. To deny marriage rights the issues must be extensive and consistent, not just one or two isolated incident, otherwise nobody could get married.

            “But the reason you can separate same-sex marriage from same-sex parenting is because you don’t link marriage to children.” – Yes, because I can’t tell people what their marriage is about, nobody can.