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Posted by on Feb 16, 2013 in Uncategorized Posts | 9 comments

What Will Christians Do In Heaven For All Eternity?

Christians concoct many different scenarios about what they’ll do in heaven for all eternity. None of them make good sense. Will they eternally play golf? Baseball? How about hockey, football, or even rugby? Boxing anyone? What about bear hunting? Hey, guys, how about having everlasting sex with a harem of 70 virgins? Oh, sorry, wrong religion. Regardless, what if YOU were part of a harem of 70 guys for some nymphomaniac in heaven who is just as ugly as YOU are? More seriously, what about being in a prostate position eternally worshiping God? This just seems boring to most Christians, that’s all. I can hear some of the saints in heaven now:

Hey, God, can I get up and do something productive? Do you sincerely not want me to do anything now that I’m here? Doing productive activities is self-fulfilling and makes me happy. Let me do something, please, anything. Can I at least get up and stretch, or go catch up with the “few” family and friends of mine that made it here? If nothing else, your wonderfulness, can I go to the bathroom?

So most Christians envision they’ll be given other worlds to rule over by God when they die depending on how well they behaved here on earth, even though I can hear murmurs of dissatisfaction: “Hey God, you said you forgave all of our sins so why does that guy get a bigger world to rule over than me?” However, if believers are given their own worlds to rule over, just who do they think they’ll rule over? Will these creatures have free will and will they also rebel? Will the ruler of each of these worlds have to be crucified as Jesus was in order to save them from the wrath of God? I can’t imagine believers signing up for a future excruciating crucifixion when they signed up to be in heaven. But if the creatures to be ruled over don’t rebel then Jesus was a failure as a ruler over his world. I know I know, “ours is not to question why, ours is but to do and die.”

  • Peter

    Do like they do here
    on earth: argue and fight about which is the “true” Christianity. In between
    singing hymns to their god who seems awfully insecure if he/it needs constant
    praise about how great he is. Hell, hell seems like a more interesting place
    with more appealing people to talk to. Being Canadian I wouldn’t mind a little
    heat.
     

  • http://twitter.com/ourdailytrain Our Daily Train blog

    They’ll be busy tending to their hillside mansions … or getting servants to do it for themselves, which is apparently A-OK with Yahweh. In any case, I imagine it would get boring very quickly after the novelty wore off.

  • SmilodonsRetreat

    My church taught me that heaven was forever singing the praises of god.  Which, in my mind (and those who would have to listen to me), be pure hell.  

    There’s a lot of interesting conundrums with the concept of heaven.

  • randall.morrison90

    That what choice is all about.  Those who would prefer to go to Hell are free to do so.

    Your will be done.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gojaejin Jeremy J. Goard

    “That what choice is all about.”

    Awesome. So can I also go to Middle Earth if I want to?

  • Dave Mabus

    what’s the harm of little idi*ts?

    skepticfriends.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=15587

  • http://disnotblog.blogspot.com/ Eugen

    70 virgins sounds the best. Problem is I would be done in 70 minutes and than what?

    Skeptic Ink is good. I decided to get to know atheists because I’ll end up in hell with them. 

  • http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/ed_babinski/babinski-bio.html EdwardTBabinski

    Hi Randall,  Ever ask yourself, why only two choices? And why is one supposed to be like an acid-trip on a drug called God, Hallelujah! While the other choice is compared in the book of Revelation to being flung against your will into a lake of fire? Wow, talk about manic-depressive choices. Maybe such heaven-hell religions are havens for manic-depressives come to think of it.  If you don’t believe how much God loves you, you will suffer eternally. The same choice that dictators give people, or wife-beaters. 

    Like they say, kill one man, you’re a murderer, kill a hundred, you’re a hero, kill them all, you’re God.

    Let’s suppose there’s a third choice, it’s more like earth.  On earth everyone is not hooked on the God drug, nor cast into a lake of fire.  But it’s a place where you can still face challenges, change and learn.  Can you change and learn in heaven or hell?  If not, then I guess free will doesn’t come in very handy after you die.  Yet apologists love to talk about how great free will is, but it doesn’t come in very handy after you die because you don’t want people in hell who truly repent, nor people in heaven who start sinning.  Instead of such inter-testamental fire-breathing posturing and alpha male primate vengefulness projected onto God, why not suppose (if you do believe in God), that God and time are the best teachers? That’s an old Yiddish proverb. God, being the creator of time, has all the time in the world to “reach people.” Because if God is the only reality, then “evil” can’t really compete, nor can the devil since he’s a mere finite being. But God has infinite resources and wisdom at his disposal and knows everything that touches you the most, that can touch you the most in every ares of your life. So neither evil nor the devil is anything compared with God who alone is Good by definition–and out of whose Goodness everything was created, per Christian theology.

    So, peace out, quit trying to defend the indefensible as part of the plan of a Being of infinite wisdom and love. And you might enjoy exploring some Christian universalist books and websites. 

    Here’s how Shana, a First-Grade Teacher, Therapist for Autistic Children, and creator of a universalist Christian website, put it:

    A Christian brother told me that when we are in heaven we will have no concern for those who will be burning in what he believed to be eternal hell. But if we are to “love our neighbors as ourselves,” how can this be true? God has said that He will have “all” come to Him.  Is any heart so dark (and without the slightest flaw or crack) such that the light of Christ could never penetrate it? Does not emptiness abhor a vacuum, and what could be more vacuous than a heart trying to keep itself pumped up with lies and deceit which have no substance of and by themselves. Surely such vacuous hearts cannot avoid being eventually filled with the only solid and substantial Truth that is, was or ever will be? Something written by the 19th-century univeralist Christian, George MacDonald, recently encouraged my own heart…

    Jesus said for us to love even our enemies. We were His enemies at one time and He came down into our hell.“And what shall we say of the man Christ Jesus? Who, that loves his brother, would not, upheld by the love of Christ, and with a dim hope that in the far-off time there might be some help for him, arise from the company of the blessed, and walk down into the dismal regions of despair, to sit with the last, the only unredeemed, the Judas of his race, and be himself more blessed in the pains of hell, than in the glories of heaven? Who, in the midst of the golden harps and the white wings, knowing that one of his kind, one miserable brother in the old-world-time when men were taught to love their neighbor as themselves, was howling unheeded far below in the vaults of the creation, who, I say, would not feel that he must arise, that he had no choice, that, awful as it was, he must gird his loins, and go down into the smoke and the darkness and the fire, traveling the weary and fearful road into the far country to find his brother?–who, I mean, that had the mind of Christ, that had the love of the Father?”Jesus came to seek and save the lost. Will He not continue to seek out and save all of the lost? Will we have the love of Christ in heaven? MacDonald’s words were a blessing for me to read.

  • Alan Rick

    Play Pinochle. There is no other rational decision. :-p