Aphorisms for the Coming New Year

It’s not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.

You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.

We have enough “youth”.
How about a fountain of “smart”?

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS’ MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn’t everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don’t Drink and Drive.
You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don’t succeed
skydiving is not for you.

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population

“You know why a banana is like a politician?”
“He comes in and first he is green,
then he turns yellow
and then he’s rotten.”

“I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
identify their corporate sponsors.”

The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected
is that they would ‘hate’ to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.