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Posted by on Nov 14, 2012 in Politics | 3 comments

The Jesus States of America

Obama won the election and as I predicted, it wasn’t even close. If Bush had a “mandate” in 2004, then Obama has a down right decree from the people. But the Religious Right are once again acting like sore losers and threatening to secede from the Union and form their own country. I’m going to call it the Jesus States of America.

Last time they tried this, the world was a very different place. The Northern states needed the cotton and tobacco and other crops that the South had to offer. But we don’t any more. In fact, there is absolutely nothing most of these states have to offer us.

Okay, Texas has some oil, but so what progressives in the North want to move to wind and solar anyway. Besides, I think they are bluffing. Could you imagine what would happen the next time a hurricane hit Louisiana if they didn’t have the federal government to back them up? Most of the states who want to secede operate at a loss anyway. In other words, they take more money from the federal government than they deliver in taxes and other revenue.

I think we should let them secede and kick off some dead weight. We would have a much better government without the wacko Religious Right. Our military will still be there and it would still be bigger than the military of the Jesus States of America. We would still have the bombs. We would have a better economy, better energy policy, better social justice, better education, and better innovation.

We keep Hollywood and New York, so our movies wouldn’t change either. We could even change them higher rates to import our entertainment. If they don’t pay it, then they are stuck with just country music and Jon Voight movies.

I don’t think we should fight a civil war just to keep a bunch of cry baby, sore loser, turncoat, traitors in the Union. Fuck them! They want to leave, don’t let the border fence hit you on the way out. As it turns out, I just changed my opinion on the border fence issue just to keep these free loader rednecks out of my country. Let them teach Creationism in their own country, but here in the United States of America that shit stays out of our schools. What a relief it would be to get rid of all these ridiculous Religious Right wackos. I can’t wait. Even though I live in a Northern state, can I sign their petitions to get them to secede?

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  • SmilodonsRetreat

    1) If Texas has stayed seceded, then every presidential election since 1984 would have gone to the Democrats.

    2) Even in Texas, there are still 41% of the people who voted for Obama. Us sane folks in Texas would appreciate not being lumped in with the nutters. I love Texas. It’s big, beautiful country. And there are places (Austin, Houston, Dallas) that really try to be progressive. It’s very difficult when slightly more than half the state is infected with the Bill O’Reilly virus, but we’re trying. What’s even more interesting is that Texas is slowly turning purple. In the 2016 election, I think that Texas very well may end up being a battleground state rather than a guaranteed GOP state. There are a number of counties that Romney won by less than 3 points. If the Dems don’t ignore Texas in 2016, then it could get very, very interesting around here.

    3) The “secessionist movement” doesn’t have a clue what it would entail to create their own country. They are all united against Obama now, but as soon as an external threat disappears, they would collapse on the infighting. I’d be willing to watch it, if only I wasn’t in the middle of it.

    4) If they do decide to secede, then I hope they decide in the next two months so I can cancel the house we’re building and move to someplace sane.

  • BKsea

    Some statistics:
    Of the 10 most educated states (defined as fraction of adults with college education), all 10 voted for Obama. Of the 10 least educated, 9 voted for Romney.
    Of the 10 wealthiest states (defined as GDP per capita), 8 voted for Obama. Of the 10 poorest, 8 voted for Romney.
    Obama states combined contribute $240 Billion more in federal taxes than they receive back in federal expenditures. Romney states receive $65 billion more than they contribute (excludes interest on national debt).
    So… go right ahead and secede Romney states. See how that works out for you.

  • Copyleft

    My current proposal is that we admit Puerto Rico to the union (they WANT to be Americans) and kick out Texas.
    That way we don’t even have to change the flags.